Skip to main content

Comment Wall!

A Harvest (this will make more sense as you learn about Ruth and Boaz!)

Here is the link to my Storybook about the Love Story of Ruth and Boaz :)


Comments

  1. Hi Piper!! I thought your introduction set up was very cool and unique. When I clicked on your storybook, I was not expecting to see "dear diary" entries and it was a nice surprise. I thought it was very interesting to take the diary entries and make them from separate people's point of view, but I do suggest making that point of view difference a little more emphasized. After I first read it, I thought Mahlon was the husband and son, rather than the husband to Ruth and the son of Naomi. I feel like if a little more detail was added to introduce each character's personality, that might make the story come alive a little more. I am also curious to see how Boaz is brought into the story. His entry seems a little random, but I think he might marry one of the two widowed daughters-in-law. I cannot wait to see what your stories are like.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Piper!

    I love the diary format, this will be fun to read as it progresses. Have you heard of the Jewish practice of midrash? It involves writing about the Biblical text, either to fill in story gaps, bring up creative interpretations, or to simply play with the text as a means of engaging with it. Your storybook idea reminds me of midrash, and this genre may be worth checking out online if you haven’t already!

    I enjoyed the parallelism you used in the ending two sentences from the diary entries. It shows the common bond of faith among the characters. Ruth’s certainly sounds like an authentic expression of grief and faith. Boaz’s diary entry sets up the Biblical story ending really well. It may be good to include some more story context in an author’s note for those who don’t know this section of scripture very well. Have you considered introducing God as an active character in the story? It wouldn’t fit the diary format but could be interesting. This is a great start to your storybook, nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Piper!

    I read your introduction to your storybook, and I enjoyed it. I haven't thought about Ruth and Boaz for a while, so it was nice to remember how much I enjoyed it.

    For your story format, I like how you set up each person's prayer as a piece. You have Boaz who wants to find loyal love and a good home, Ruth, who wishes to return to a happy, stable life, and Naomi, who is worried about loyal Ruth. It creates an image in your writing of the omnipotence of God in knowing every piece and looking at ways to fit them together.

    Have you considered adding God as a character? If not directly, then have God create small events that show his influence in the story? Then those events could be mentioned by the characters as they pray? I liked how you included "season of stagnancy," as that is a farmer term that would suit Boaz. I didn't see any problems with your story in grammar or details. Kudos to you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Piper! I want to start off by saying that I really liked reading your introduction. I love the "Dear diary" set up you've decided to go with! It gives it that first person point of view and so we really get to know the thoughts and emotions of this person through your writing. . I also really like that it is not just a simple diary entry, but a prayer as well.

    I'll be honest, I haven't read anything about Ruth or Boaz, so I am excited to be able to learn from your Storybook what their love story is like from your own perspective. You mentioned in the beginning paragraph how you wanted the readers to understand the deep love they have and portray the emotions felt by each of these people. I think in this introduction you already did a great job at portraying those emotions.

    I wonder what other characters you might add to these characters or if you're just going to keep just three characters? I also didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors in your story so good job! I'm looking forward to coming back to your storybook and reading more!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Piper!

    I was drawn to your storybook because I have such a love for romance stories!! I also really enjoyed the switch you made to the stories to add in prayers to God, and even more so I enjoyed how each person had their own individual prayer to God sectioned off. What do you think about another section of prayer where they make up the prayer all together? They could be telling each other what each one hopes for, and then praying over each other. That would be a really cool addition. I think you have a really great set up and foundation for your storybook, though. I didn't read the original story, so I might just be a little confused, but how come Boaz is writing to his diary instead of God? Some clarification might help other readers like me who have not read the original one. Other than that, great job!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Piper!

    I love the topic of your storybook and the vision you have for it! Your intro paragraph is succinct and does a great job of summarizing what we need to know before reading. The prayers/letters in the intro also are really nicely written and gives us great insight into the emotional trauma the characters are being put through. I already feel so much for them all after reading them!

    The Beginning is really wonderfully written, too. Each character definitely has their own voice and the writing reflects that really well. I am really curious to see what is going to happen with this writing style by the end. I see someone else mentioned group prayers--that would be a really cool idea. It is definitely a different feeling to pray with other people. It could be fun a way to show how the characters communicate with each other. Just an idea, though!

    I can't wait to see what else you do with this! Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Piper! I loved loved loved this story! I saw it in the recommended blogs to read, and I just had to click on it! I was super excited to read your rendition of this love story, and I was not disappointed! I so enjoyed how you began your story with the individual prayers of each of the main characters. All of these characters were such prayerful and faithful individuals, that it feels only right that you would begin this retelling by providing a peek into what they were asking of God during this time. I liked that although you did not use a traditional story telling method, the reader was still able to understand how the love story begins. I am now interested to see how you go about telling the next part of the story. Will you continue telling it from each of their separate perspectives, or will you tell it in third person? Overall, this was a great read and I am excited to come back and read the second part!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey Piper! I thought your story was really interesting to read and I thought the way you set it up like a diary entry/praying was really clever. However, I do feel like it would be helpful if in the intro you had some kind of like family tree graphic or something to help understand the background before the reader starts reading! I also think that possibly putting dates on the entries would be helpful too because I wasn't sure at first if I was supposed to start at the bottom and read up (just because sometimes I've noticed that blogs work like that in terms of dates) but obviously you figure that out once you start reading regardless. I also love the way you've laid out your storybook as well as this page, I think this font is super fun! Anyway, I'm excited to see what entries/prayers you come up with next and how the love story of Ruth and Boaz continues to unravel!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Piper!

    I like the idea of telling the story of Ruth through prayers. I think giving them a personal voice in this way is a really cool idea but it also involves a lot of work to embody what each character might be feeling. As a Religious Studies major, I've read a lot about the context of Ruth and seen a lot of different interpretations of it so my comments mainly have to do with historical accuracy but ultimately it's up to you to decide if that's something you want to incorporate into your story. The first thing that seemed kind of strange to me was that Ruth was very concerned with appearing like an outsider in her prayer in the introduction right after her husband died. At this point, I would think she would be considering returning to her family because she really could if she wanted to and I don't think her identity as a Moabite is that important until she for sure decides to follow Naomi back to her home where there would be an Israelite majority. The other thing I questioned was rather Boaz was really so concerned with having a wife. It has always seemed to me that Boaz marries Ruth because it is his obligation as a family member to take care of her and Naomi. He no doubt is fond of Ruth but I portraying him as searching for a wife takes away from the sense of duty I imagine he would have felt to take care of his family. I also noticed that Boaz's prayer starts with "dear diary" in the introduction and "dear god" in the first story. I think it would be a good idea to stay consistent with the opening you use for each character. Overall, I really like how personal your telling of the story is and am excited to see the finished product!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Great job so far, Piper! I really enjoy how creative your project idea is since you are telling the love story of Ruth and Boaz through their prayers. It brings perspective to each side of the story and adds an element of drama that makes the reader want to keep reading to find out what ends up happening. One thing that I noticed while reading through your first story page was that I was a bit confused on what was happening or the context in which the stories were occurring. I think giving a bit of background on the stories that you chose would really round out the storyline and make the reader understand the context much better! Other than this, though, I think you have a great idea and your writing so far is fun and descriptive to read and I am looking forward to reading the rest of your project this semester!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi Piper!

    Your Storybook looks great! I thought it was very clever using pictures of feather ink pens in your introduction, since it's like they are writing letters to God. The map of Judah goes perfect with your second story since they talk about traveling back to Judah. Also, the banner image on your home page is very pretty, especially because of the colors. I also appreciate that your storybook is very easy to navigate.

    One suggestion I have is maybe moving the banner information on your introduction page to the bottom of the page. That way, it's less distracting and your readers can jump right into reading your introduction. Also, and this is a very minor detail, in your story "The Beginning," I think it would be helpful to space out the author's note, bibliography, and heading information a little more so that they don't look like they are all blending together.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Piper! I have some feedback for you! I love the image on your home page! Not only is a harvest the setting of Ruth and Boaz's love story, but the picture also gives a rustic atmosphere for the beautiful love story that does not need a grand backdrop to embellish its value. I also love The First Interaction image for similar reasons. However, the Intro and Beginning images don't fit the story as well. I would recommend the change of images to something else (ex. a painting of a person praying for the Intro image, and a rustic countryside for the Beginning image). Also, the Intro has two pictures while the other pages have only one, so this seems a little inconsistent. Your story is as great as I remember it. Every person has their distinct motivations and you see how they come together in Ruth and Boaz's love story. One thing I am curious about is why does Ruth's origin as a Moabite mean she will be unable to find work in Judah?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi Piper! I have really enjoyed reading your storybook so far. I haven't read the story of Ruth and Boaz since I was a kid, so it's really nice to learn about it again from a fresh perspective in more plain language than what's in the Bible. I really love that you make each character's feelings more obvious, and I feel like each character has their own unique voice, which really adds to the reading experience. Since this week we are supposed to give feedback on author's notes, one question I did have after reading the story was why being from Moab would be a limitation for Ruth. That would be pretty easy to clear up in your note. Your author's note on your second story was nice to read, though, and it really gave me more insight into both your characters' thoughts as well as your thoughts when you were writing it! Awesome work, and I look forward to reading the rest of your storybook :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Piper,
    I liked that you have a different storytelling style for your stories! I liked that we're able to understand the inner thoughts of each character and what struggles they have or want they need to be fulfilled. I haven't heard of this biblical story yet so I'm excited to learn more about Ruth and Boaz's story. I think a good path to change up the storytelling is to add some dialogue between the characters. It can help us understand the relationships between the characters a little better and see how the relationships are developing. I also was a little confused about the deaths of the husbands in the beginning. Was it from the famine or did something else happen to them? I also was curious about what happened to Orpah during the story, did she already leave Naomi and Ruth to find someone to provide to her? Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to reading what happens next in the update to the storybook!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi Piper!
    I really like your unique storytelling style! The first person perspective you take is extremely insightful. This class has taught me a great deal of how to use my imagination and create stories of my own. I can see that you are a great writer and look forward to reading more of your storybook. I would recommend fleshing out some of your characters more and show how other characters perceive them as well! Good luck this semester!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hey Piper,
    I really enjoyed your storybook! I thought your introduction was wonderfully done. At first, I thought we were going to get a separate story that dealt with each of the three characters. I was happy and surprised when I found out that each story includes all three. I think your r introduction does a great job of letting us know of who we will be encountering in each story. I think the name of your stories does a really good job in letting us know about where we are in the progression of this story. I like that you give us an in depth look into what each character is thinking at that moment in time. I am not very familiar with this story, so I had to go over it a couple time. Overall, I liked everything about your story book and cannot wait to read more of your stories, if you add more.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hey Piper,
    I’ve only read the Bible a few times, with Church sprinkled in here and there, so I’m only slightly familiar with the story of Boaz and Ruth. I quite liked how your story telling method is through the use of prayers. Not only is this unique, but it provides an intimate look as to each of these characters will think and react to what is going on around them. I just read the story, “The Future” where each one of the characters is thinking about the future and thanking God for all that he had given them. I loved how content and happy they all seemed, with hope pointing towards what the future will bring. Being in a relationship is scary, but its nice to see these people from the Bible have the same worries/fears that everyone has. Putting their faith in a higher power helped them succeed where many others have failed, a great take-away from your re-telling.
    Andrew

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hey Piper! I was so excited to get to come back to your website and continue to read your storybook! When I first read it, it was one of my favorites, so I was definitely anxious to see how you had developed the story. This week, feedback commentary is supposed to be focused on the paragraphing of a story book. I was unclear about what exactly this meant, but now I know that it just basically means we will be assessing and commenting on how effectively different authors use paragraphs in their stories. I think that this feedback topic was perfect for your story. Your use of different individual prayers in separate paragraphs to tell this love story is such an efficient and unique use of formatting. I feel that it both gives me specific insight into exactly what the characters are thinking and sets a good pace for me as a reader. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Piper! I am from the Indian Epics class but I love reading the projects from the mythology and folklore class. I am familiar with the story of Ruth and Boaz, but I was really looking forward to reading your original retelling of their story. I love the banner image. It is so clear and the colors in it are so beautiful. You write really beautifully and clearly while also keeping us interested and engaged. Your topic was what initially drew me in but your writing kept me interested and reading. I really thought the idea of using Ruth, Boaz, and other character's individual prayers was unique and really worked to tell the stories. I thought it let the story unfold in a every unique way while also tying in the biblical roots of this story. Overall, your storybook was amazing and I will definitely be back to read your other stories. I hope you have a great rest of the semester!

    ReplyDelete
  20. HI Piper,
    I adore your theme of telling the story through prayers and I really love that your prayers take on such a casual, "Dear Diary" tone. This is a beautiful story and you do a really good job of telling it in a new and modern way., I look forward to seeing your finished product. I don't have a lot of change suggestions; you are doing great work. Have a great semester!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Piper! I wonder why as a Moab, Ruth would not be accepted by all people. What is the history there? I haven't read the Bible, so I don't know the history between the two people. I like the idea of reading a story through the perspective of people's prayers. As I was reading this, I wondered what God's response to these prayers would be. To let the reader see more of the story, you could expand more on what is happening to them. For example, why does Ruth think there will be more between herself and Boaz? Was there an instant connection or did they bond over food after working the field one day? Ruth showed her devotion to Boaz by laying at his feet, and Boaz showed his devotion by buying Naomi's land. I wonder how Naomi knew Ruth should lie at his feet - how did God urge her? It is such a specific thing to do. I really enjoyed learning about a story in the Bible. Good luck with the rest of the semester!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Piper,

    Just a little note: it seems a little strange to end a prayer or message to God with “God be with me,” since it is in some way referring to the recipient in the third person. Of course, that’s much trickier to navigate in terms of “grammar” when dealing with the omnipresent, but it was just something that struck me. Maybe think if you could slightly modify this repeated phrase? (I really like the repetition and periodic forms; I think it’s a great way to create structure and appeal.)

    I like that you elaborated on the blossoming of love between Ruth and Boaz, which is certainly elided in the source material.

    Since your intro also contains letters and prayers, maybe you should make it a fourth story and keep that first introductory paragraph as the Intro page?

    Best,
    A.M.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi, Piper! It was so great to read your storybook this week! I remember you mentioning that you were in this class and so I was really excited to see what all you’ve been working on! You picked such an awesome topic! I love your introduction. You do a great job of really capturing each characters emotions. Your writing evokes a great deal of sympathy from the reader. In “The Beginning”, I really enjoyed your use of foreshadowing. We start to see the connection between Ruth and Boaz immediately, which creates this great anticipation in the reader! The mark of every great romance! In “The First Interaction”, I love that Ruth is hopeful for good things, but almost oblivious to Boaz’s affections, and then Boaz is absolutely in love with Ruth. Ah! Adorable! In “The Future” I love that the story ends so happy and so hopeful! You really did a beautiful job with this storybook! Happy Thanksgiving!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hey there Piper! I just had the chance to take a look at your project for this semester, and I really enjoyed it! I really like the way that you decided to approach this project with the topic you chose. Sometimes it can be difficult to describe the emotions of characters in love through words only, but you did a fantastics job in doing exactly that. Your writing is very captivating, flows nicely, and leads to reader wanting to keep on reading. I think that my love of romance was triggered a bit in your story of their first interaction, and I thought the story was absolutely darling! It somehow was relatable was well, despite its obvious connection to the original story. I am glad that this story had such a lovely ending, as I am not a fan of unhappy endings at all. Great job with your project overall, I am really impressed Piper!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction to Pip

Hi friends! Welcome to my blog :) My name is Piper, but most of my friends call me a slew of nicknames like Pipe, Pipey, Pipes, Pipeydoodle, Pip (hence Pip Pip Hurray)... you get the point! I am a student at the University of Oklahoma, and I am currently finishing up my last semester before I graduate (don't remind me, I'm getting emotional about it). I am from Tulsa, OK originally, and I would love to go back someday, but my future is pretty up in the air right now so I am not sure when that might be. I am studying Health and Exercise Science with an emphasis on Pre-Occupational Therapy, and the goal would be to start OT school in Summer 2020. I'm super passionate about people and forming relationships, which is what drew me to OT. I love the idea of working in a profession that allows me to make new friends, love others, and solve problems all at the same time.

As well as my many nicknames, my friends call me an old lady at heart. I love to read (most recent book- Where …

Week 4 Story- The Hungry Urshana

It had been seven days that all of the animals had been stowed away on the ship. They were hungry. They were tired. Their paws, claws, and hooves hurt. It seemed as though every moment another type of animal was complaining about something, and it took all Noah had to be patient and try to tend to their every need. He was exhausted as well; not only did he have to build this giant ark, load all of the living things on the entire earth into the ark, load and take care of this family, but he also had to feed every species on the boat. Imagine herbivores, carnivores, and omnivores all living in one boat. It was all Noah's responsibility to keep them from eating each other and from eating Noah and his family! For such a long time, as well. This was not just a week-long, leisurely vacation with his family. This was the entire responsibility of saving the world that God had put in Noah's hands! So yes, stressed and exhausted is an understatement.
On the eighth day, Noah was walking …