Oh, it's dark in here. It's really, really dark in here and I am tired of the dark. I have been in this ring for years and years...I lost count after my 563rd year. I just gave up hope at that point. I used to rehearse my lines every single day, hoping that someone would rub the ring and let me get out of this dark hole! Now I just sit here, somber and bored, waiting to die. Which I know won't ever happen because genies don't die. We just sit in the dirt of the ring, waiting. All of my friends that were down here got to leave. Their rings were rubbed by not mine! It's just not fair. I hate the way I've become; negative, lame, and boring. I just cannot help it though, I am sad and I won't stop being sad until someone lets me out of here!
The reason I am so willing to get out is because one time, just once, I was out of the ring for a day. Someone accidentally touched the ring when they were digging for some other piece of treasure. I was so shocked that I fell out of the ring so ungracefully, and I scared the person on the outside. I thought they were going to faint! I said my lines perfectly and the person just stared at me. I asked the person how I could serve them and why they called me, and they were speechless. It was like talking to a statue! I continued to ask what I could do to serve them, and he finally said: "go away!!" So I had to retreat back into the ring. Ever since then I have continuously thought about how I could have done better in that situation so that I would not have had to return to the ring. Maybe I was too forward? Should I get to know the guy better next time before I try to serve him? Who am I kidding...I probably won't ever even have the chance to try anyw--wait...was that what I thought it was? Did someone just rub the ring? Here goes nothing... "What wouldst thou with me? I am the Slave of the Ring, and will obey thee in all things."
Author's Note: I wanted to write a perspective of how the Genie must have felt before he was called out from the ring. Everyone knows the story of Aladdin and how the Genie works with and serves Aladdin, but there isn't always a lot of information about the Genie's past.
Bibliography: The Arabian Nights' Entertainments by Andrew Lang
Genie by Cool Silh
Author's Note: I wanted to write a perspective of how the Genie must have felt before he was called out from the ring. Everyone knows the story of Aladdin and how the Genie works with and serves Aladdin, but there isn't always a lot of information about the Genie's past.
Bibliography: The Arabian Nights' Entertainments by Andrew Lang
Hi Piper,
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I liked how you focused on how the Genie was feeling before he was summoned. I've never thought about that but I can't imagine being alone in the dark for that long. I would go crazy! I also thought it was interesting that the Genie had an introverted personality and thought about what he did wrong and what he could do better instead of blaming the person who summoned him.
Hi Piper,
ReplyDeleteI loved the personality you gave to the genie during the story! It helped me as a reader try to relate to him as well as understand and take pity for his situation. I also liked that you ended it with him finally being able to get out of the ring after his long period of being imprisoned. I was a little confused about how the genie was able to tell that his friends got to leave their items of imprisonment. Are all genies in a random dimension that they can interact with each other while inside the items? Another thing I was a little confused about was the mentioning of the ring being the item that traps the genie. I know in the movie Aladdin, that genie was trapped inside a lamp instead of a ring. I was unable to read the story so I'm not sure if the items are just different from story to movie.
Hi Piper! I loved the unique perspective you brought to this story! I also wrote about this story, and I considered writing it from this perspective. It is funny to think of what he must have been thinking all of those years trapped inside of a ring, all alone with nothing to do! I bet that would make me somber and bored as well. I also liked the detailed retelling of the one time he accidnetally got a taste of freedom! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Piper! This was such a fun story to read! The opening made me laugh a lot. I am not sure if that was the intention but I thought you did a great job of adding humor and character to what could have been a really depressing story. I have always wondered what genies might do while waiting around, so this was a great perspective to read about it.
ReplyDeleteHi Piper!
ReplyDeleteWow! After reading those first few words, "Oh, it's dark in here," I was immediately hooked to this story. You have a great style of pulling your readers in and wanting more. I loved how you told your story from the first person perspective of the genie. This was a creative way to retell your story. I want to experience with different techniques like that for my stories because it adds more characterization and suspense in this story's case.
Hi Piper,
ReplyDeleteI like this tone for a genie — it reminds me of Disney’s Aladdin and Robin William’s Genie within it; the sort of very modern, kind of world-weary but fast-talking genie.
Mechanically, your story might be easier to read if you introduce more paragraph/line breaks. I realize that in this story you’re probably trying not to to add to the feeling of flow-of-consciousness, but I think it still really helps the reader.
Best,
A.M.